Leadership Sculptor

The Leadership of Letting Go, Part 6

cj — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:02:28 +0000

In Part 3 of “The Leadership of Letting Go” I touched on the role of trust in leadership. People want to be able to trust, and be trusted by, their leaders. This demands that leaders be authentic. One roadblock on the road to authenticity is that what we say may not match what we really think and feel. And followers sense this discrepancy.

During my integrative coaching training, I experienced, for the first time, the power of a tool, “The Left-Hand Column”, based on an article by Rick Ross and Art Kleiner in “The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook”. Here’s how you can use it to help you develop some powerlessness. Choose a difficult problem from the recent past (perhaps, something from your “Powerlessness Inventory”) that involves an interaction with someone else and describe it briefly, in a few sentences.

Now divide a sheet of paper with a line down the middle; label the right-hand column “what we said” and the left-hand “what I was thinking and feeling”.Record the conversation you had in the right-hand column. If it’s about a situation in which you only held the conversation in your mind, write that down. (In either case, you may need more than one piece of paper.)

The next step is to review the conversation and, in the left-hand column, write down what you were thinking or feeling, but didn’t say.

The fourth step is to reflect on the two columns. Sometimes it helps to put the pages away for a few days and then reread. Through the distance of time, it is easier to notice and learn. Sometimes it’s helpful to discuss the pages with a coach. Some questions to help your process of inquiry:

How have I contributed to this situation?
What stopped me from saying what was in my left-hand column?
Over what was I powerless?
How might the conversation be different, if I allowed myself to be powerless? (Write down the new version of the conversation.)
How do I intend to behave in the future?
What do I need to support this behavior?

Give yourself some time to complete the exercise and reward yourself afterward for a big step forward.

Photo: Andreas / flickr

The Leadership of Letting Go, Part 5

cj — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:30:23 +0000

Leadership is increasingly challenging: more demands in less time. Upping the number of hours doesn’t help either since the time to recharge and be fresh for the next day’s challenges gets eaten away. During the rest of the week, we look at some simple tools that leaders can use to help them let go of that which is not theirs, so that they can respond well in any given situation.

The first tool is the Powerlessness Inventory. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into three columns: (a) Event or Situation, (b) What I felt the need to control, and (c) Mine or Not Mine?.

In (a) list any recent situation in which you felt stressed or under a lot of pressure. Be specific. “Staff meetings” is too vague. “In last Monday’s staff meeting, when Dave told me that his project will not make its next milestone on time” is specific. Don’t worry if you have lots of examples. Most of us do! This will help you to identify patterns and themes that are helpful for you to look at.

Then go through the list and fill out column (b). For example, in the example above, “I promised my boss that this project will meet all its deadlines. In addition, I feel disappointed in Dave, since he promised me that this would run smoothly.”

Finally, column (c). To complete the example: “Not mine: I am powerless over whether the project meets its milestones. Mine: I have power over my own feelings.”

When you study (c) you will probably notice recurring themes. These are topics that you can begin to address. In particular, watch out for themes that you label as “Mine”, if they are not part of your thoughts, feelings and actions. The thoughts, feelings and actions of someone else, belong on their list, not yours. This is the beginning of some important and lasting self-learning and a few steps along the path to better leadership.

Photo: DarkFrame / flickr

The Leadership of Letting Go, Part 4

cj — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:38:17 +0000

Leadership is about taking decisions, especially good ones. At the same time, if we are attached to the outcome, then the quality of our decision-making can suffer. In his book Awareness, Anthony De Mello tells of a saying from the Chinese philosopher Tranxu: “When the archer shoots for no particular prize, he has all his skills; when he shoots to win a brass buckle, he is already nervous; when he shoots for a gold prize, he goes blind, sees two targets, and is out of his mind. His skill has not changed, but the prize divides him. He cares! He thinks more of winning than of shooting, and the need to win drains him of power”.

That’s just how it is in the workplace, when we hold on to outcomes outside our control. By letting go, we can, in the words of Anthony De Mello, “perceive clearly; respond accurately”. We have the chance to see the situation as it is; we have the chance to access our whole mind. Then it is usually clear what needs to be done and who needs to do it.

Another benefit of this approach in leadership is that others can trust us more; they can rely on us not behaving hectically. It strengthens the bonds of trust. Those who exercise this form of leadership, report that others are willing to help them reach their goals and cooperate with them readily. In the next installment, we look at some practical ways to strengthen “perceive clearly; respond accurately”.

Photo: Jan Rihak / iStockphoto

The Leadership of Letting Go, Interlude

cj — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:53:13 +0000

Leadership is about dealing with what is, rather than what you’ve planned for. When I started this series on the Leadership of Letting Go, I didn’t foresee that my laptop would have a serious accident today, when I was arriving at a client’s office. I was upset for a moment after it happened, who wouldn’t be?! Then I realized, there’s nothing I can do about this, right now. This is something over which I am powerless, i.e. a big opportunity to practice letting go. (Did I mention, I skipped my last back-up.) I took a few deep breaths, rang the doorbell, went into the meeting and spent two hours focused on my client’s issues.

Once the meeting was over, I was able to turn my attention to my unresponsive laptop. contact my local computer support. The machine is a write-off. Fortunately, the experts have been able to salvage the hard disk. In a few days, I’ll be fully operational again. In the meantime, I will do my best to let go of the need to be ultra-responsive to emails.

Leadership is about dealing with what is, rather than what you’ve planned for.

Photo: David Mingay, iStockphoto

The Leadership of Letting Go, Part 3

cj — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 12:45:20 +0000

The key to leadership is to recognize over what I have control, and not. Basically, I have control over myself, my thoughts, feeling and abilities. Over most everything else in life, I am powerless. Anything else is just an illusion. Let it sink in for a moment. The first time a mentor said this to me, I panicked!

Once the panic passes, a natural question to pose is: if I am not in charge, who or what is? The answer to this question is not simple; however, it points to a very useful principle in leadership – trust. The question could just as easily be formulated as, in what or whom do I trust?

If trust is so important, can it be developed, or is it innate? My experience suggests that it can be developed. For a variety of reasons I won’t go into now, I had developed a basic principle in life that people had to earn my trust. My default position was mistrust. Now, it is almost impossible to earn the trust of someone who’s default is mistrust. I couldn’t trust people to work to my standards; in my first management position, this resulted in lots of work and control issues for me, and a pretty easy ride for everyone else (I was doing the stuff I really should have delegated!). I took a long hard look at this and reluctantly admit, I was no longer able to trust myself to deliver the work to my standards. That’s when I decided to give people an advance payment of trust and see what would happen. I was not disappointed: given the chance, they began to reach the standards I set. My workload dropped, so that I could supervise them, help them to develop, and take care of my own duties.

What has helped you to develop trust? How does this impact your leadership?

Photo: Paul Kline / iStockphoto

The Leadership of Letting Go, Part 2

cj — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:55:29 +0000

In order to live the leadership of letting go, it can be helpful to gain more insight into the sources of our need to control. While there are many sources, some of the more productive ones to investigate are linked to our personality. The Enneagram is a model of personality that sheds light on our worldview and our main motivations in life. One aspect of this is that we attempt to exercise control in particular situations in order to avoid something for us that is unpleasant (while for someone else it might carry little or no emotional charge). It can help us develop our leadership ability by becoming aware of such sources of the need to control.

The chart here shows nine different themes of avoidance, sorted according to Enneagram Style, that particular people attempt to control in their lives in order to avoid something that for them is deeply unpleasant. For example, people of Style Nine (the Peacemaker) tend to place a high value on harmony and correspondingly find conflict deeply unpleasant. Therefore, they often attempt to mange their surroundings so that conflict won’t arise. One way to do this is simply to ignore a conflict (through which it often worsens); this strategy is pretty common in the workplace. Many leaders that I coach simply hope that the conflict or one of the conflict partners will go away (especially when one of them has a fixed-length contract ). Another way is to ask their team or colleagues about a given problem or question and go along with what they suggest. Once they notice this, they begin to improve their leadership.

Style One (the Reformer) wants to reform the world thus attempts to exercise control to eliminate or avoid errors or mistakes. They like setting up processes that ensure the elimination of error. People of Style Two (the Helper) try to exercise control so that they – and their help – are needed. Who wants to be superfluous? I guess you begin to get the picture.

If you already know your Enneagram Style, I’d love to hear about your avoidance patterns; if you don’t yet know your Style, which of the words jumps out at you?

The Leadership of Letting Go, Part 1

cj — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:51:25 +0000

The Leadership Think Tank group on Linked In has been discussing the difference between leadership and management for several months now. The discussion shows no signs of running out of steam.

One fundamental difference between leadership and management revolves around (the need for) control. The tools of management benefit from control over the situation or the resources. They are very useful in the right context. This is different to leadership, where we are faced with dealing with situations over which we have little or no control. Big problems in business life occur when people insist on applying management principles to situations over which they have no control. (Problems can also occur, when people don’t make use of these management principles and tools in area where they are useful.)

This need for being in control is deep-rooted in most people and, when our control is threatened, stress levels rise and the brain begins to function less well. Our best friend in problem-solving is an open mind, one that can see patterns and possibilities. When our need for control is under threat, the brain tends to close: we see fewer options. This, in turn, can trigger panic.

One way to identify, in general, situations in which you might be attempting inappropriately to exert control is to notice who “pushes your buttons” in which setting. In the next installment, I’ll explore a more specific model for identifying issues around control.

Projects between a Rock and a Hard Place

cj — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 12:33:03 +0000

Project Managers face dilemmas every day; it comes with the job. Project management has developed as a discipline to help managers deal with their dilemmas. The basic one is how to reconcile the sponsor’s demands for efficiency with the end-users’ quality needs. This has always been so, probably ever since the pyramids were built. However, in recent years, the pressures resulting from this dilemma have grown enormously. The drive to reduce costs, reduce time-to-market and improve quality is relentless. The search for ever better tools and processes to manage the projects is not enough: such technologies helped to trigger this dilemma in the first place by suggesting everything can be managed.

The search for a more appropriate form of project management is on! Therefore, this year’s interPM conference in Glashütten, near Frankfurt, will explore this dilemma for two days with a mixture of keynotes, presentations, open space workshop and fishbowl sessions. In the first keynote, Prof. Juergen Tautz will show us what the honey bees can teach us about effectiveness. In the second, Prof. Werner Mellis will explore the “Mission Impossible” of how to resolve the dilemma in IT projects. Klaus Wagenhals and I (as metisleadership) will again facilitate the interdisciplinary workshops and hold the Open Space.

If you would like to participate in this project management conference, you can register here. If you have any questions regarding this interdisciplinary conference, which I am helping to organize, please get in touch.

Projects as Cultural Experiences: interPM 2009 video

cj — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 13:20:02 +0000

Link:

Projects have their own rhythm. The classical instruments of project management only take you so far. Last year, the interPM conference focused on the role that culture plays in shaping a project’s rhythm. The GPM (German Project Management Association) has just released a video of the conference, Projekte als Kulturerlebnis (Projects as Cultural Experiences). This video (language alert: it’s in German!) is full of helpful insights from experienced project managers on the role that cultural differences play in shaping a project.

The video also heavily features an interdisciplinary workshopthat Klaus Wagenhals and I (as metisleadership) facilitated to warm up the conference participants. We also held the Open Space part of the conference. The workshop had two purposes: first, to warm up the participants, so that they would work well and openly together. Second, to help people experience the range of different perspectives and experiences (and prejudices!) present in the room. The resulting conversations were deep and the Open Space livelier than ever.

Ask the Enneagram Coach, Part 2

cj — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:00:56 +0000

Ginger Lapid-Bogda’s The Enneagram in Business portal contains an “Ask the Coach” feature, where a coach of each Type answers the same question about coaching, to give a flavor of the different possible perspectives. Ginger asked me to be the Type 9 – or Peacemaker – representative on this panel. Here’s my answer to the second question in the series.

Question 2: What is the most underrated capability of clients of your style, how is it style related, what causes clients of your type to underrate this quality in themselves, and what can coaches do to help clients appreciate this quality more?

My answer: Our ability to find infinite shades of grey in the most polarized black/white situation is pretty cool. For, by being able to see all the shades, we can help the parties to rally around that shade of grey that makes the whole thing work again. This ability to see all sides of the story and help people mediate a solution comes from a lifetime of practice of being “out there” rather than “in here” – it’s easier to articulate another’s point of view, than our own; easier to notice how others feel, than how we ourselves feel. And because it is, to us, as natural as breathing, it’s difficult to imagine that others don’t have this gift also.

So, as a coach, it’s important to point this out to us when we do it. It’s a good idea for you to share how you find it difficult to see all these points of view (if that’s true for you – don’t pretend! If we notice, it can get messy.) However, since that might encourage us to stay in our Style, it is helpful if you, as coach, support us in identifying our own point of view and integrating this into the search for the most suitable shade of grey.

If you’d like to see the other eight answers to this question, head over to the Enneagram Learning Portal. If you’d like to share your answer to the question, or discuss my answer, please leave a comment or trackback.